all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
