I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
