All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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