I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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