Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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