Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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