butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
