he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
