Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you would pick up someone in the library
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
