no. you can't hotbox the world.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
