i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
