i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
