He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Holy sore nipples Batman
my poor anus
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize