I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
