You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
