Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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