im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
