youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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