I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
