i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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