Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
