So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
