Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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