I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
zippers are such a cool invention
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
don't judge my taste in strippers
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
