It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
