She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
There's even glitter on my cock...
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