Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
