i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
