Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
3pm strippers are depressing
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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