Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
