Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
