she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
