I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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