i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
