on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
