i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
