Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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