this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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