After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
