Duck Duck Cougar?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
