i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
