Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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