He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize