Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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