I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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