I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
