hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
