She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
