How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
