The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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