i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
