You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
