dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
